Lost

Today I went to the conference center to fill papers for my job I'm starting tonight. Turns out, The lady I needed to see was at the church office building. No big deal, so i walked across the street and it was sprinkling. actually kind of refreshing. I get to the front desk and their are two old ladies, and I mean old as in order-a-coffin-soon, kind of old. I asked them which room Mona Lisa Wald was in.(that's who my appointment was with.) They looked at me with this blank stare, and then one of them said "the mona lisa is in Italy". Seriously. this lady wasn't trying to be funny, she was serious. I said, "no, a lady that works here has the same name" then they stared a little longer as if they had just been told the world was going to implode within the next five mintues, then the other said they didn't know, and they sat there some more. "Great" I thought, "I'm working with to mental cases who don't have a clue that other humans exist." So I asked them if their was any way they could find out. After fifteen minutes of them trying to figure out how to turn on the computer in front of them, they said "no" again, and stared blankly at me once again. I decided to take things in to my own hands. I left. I went to the south entrance and asked of a very good looking guy behind the desk if he could point me in the direction of human resources. I didn't bother asking if he could tell me which office this lady was in. He took me to a room across the hall, where Mona lisa Wald was waiting wondering why I was twenty minutes late. So, I filled out all the necessary paper work, and had to go down a floor and get my parking permit. I take the elevator down, the doors open and I see a bunch of rooms a cafeteria, and more parking. in one of the rooms,there is this frightful looking lady behind a glass window is working. I notice every once in a while her left eye twitches. I ask her if this is where I get my permit verified, and guess what she does. What else, but stare. I repeat myself thinking she didn't hear me the first time. she nervously snatches the permit out of my hand, mumbles something, and walks away. What kind of people do they hire in the church!? I seriously consider just leaving and quiting my job at that moment, but decide to wait it out, and see if things improve. The twitching lady returns mumbling something as she hands me a bunch of papers and my permit, then quickly slide the glass window shut as I yank my arm out quickly from being sliced off. "Ok, now i can go home and write in my blog what weird people work in the church", I thought. Wait a second, where was I? I remembered I took and elevator, found the elevator and got on. I didn't know which button took me to parking, so i assumed it was the one marked "P". I push the button, start moving, the doors open, and it's parking. Not where I parked though. I wandered around looking for my car for about twenty minutes, realized I was on the wrong level. Find another elevator, the doors close, no other buttons saying "P". So, I press some random button. It took me to this room that was looked like it was deserted fifty years earlier. Probably some hermit man living in one of the boxes in the corner . ok, wrong floor again. new button. Then I realize their are only three buttons on this elevator. The two I already pressed, and another one marked "L". Assuming this was lobby, I press the button. doors slide open and I'm magically outside. I seriously didn't know where I was. No familiar buildings, and last time I was outside, it was raining. now it was snowing. I walk for a while, and realize I'm on temple square. Not where visitors can go, but where they have been doing construction, and by some cafe I didn't know existed on temple square. I was in a secret elevator that isn't meant for anyone but authorities I guess. I have to show it to you guys sometime. I probably went in some secret parking lot, a secret room, and took the secret outside passage to temple square. The church has a whole underground network of spies apparently, and I got a grand tour of their hideouts. I eventually got to my car which was about half a mile from where I got off the secret elevator. How I got that far away, I'll never know. It wasn't scary, more like a learning experience. I'll take all of you on a tour sometime, and maybe we'll find nuclear weapons the church is storing for the CIA. you never know. Well, that was my experience for the day. welcome to the end of today's blog.
Bec